The One Who Caused Harm Has No Right to Dictate How Victims Should Grieve

 


Adeladius Makwega – MBAGALA

When we were in university, a large group of students from poor backgrounds faced serious hardships. Life was difficult, and their future in education was uncertain. They decided to fight for their rights and secure their academic future.

At the university, there were three main groups:

“The majority were struggling students (the poor), fighting for survival. A small group from well-off families who ignored them, saying: ‘Why did they come to such an expensive institution if their families cannot afford it?’Another group from well-off families who chose to stand with the poor, contributing their knowledge, skills, and resources to support them .”

Dear reader, reflect on these three groups.

“For those who know Mwanakwetu, you might think he belonged to the struggling group—but in truth, he was in a relatively better position. However, he was deeply troubled by the injustice faced by the poor, so he joined them wholeheartedly and committed himself to their cause.”

During this struggle, a late professor once called Mwanakwetu and asked why things had reached that point. Mwanakwetu responded:

“If you wrong me, do you have the right to tell me how I should express my pain?”

The professor replied, No, and said, Makwega, I understand you.

 

In the end, the struggling students succeeded in their cause. Mwanakwetu remained grateful to those privileged students who stood in solidarity with them.

Historically, this is how movements like TANU and ASP achieved their goals—through unity across different groups.

What is Mwanakwetu saying today?

There are two key points:

On grief and mourning

Among the Wapogoro, when a family experiences a loss, there is a communal way of mourning. Drums are played, and each person grieves in their own way—some cry openly, others silently.

 

No one has the authority to dictate how another person should grieve. The only important boundary is to grieve without losing respect for God.

On social responsibility

The lesson from the three groups remains relevant:

“It is not about being poor or rich—it is about how you respond when you see injustice. A poor person can still be selfish. A wealthy person can choose to care only about themselves .What truly matters is how you treat others and whether you act when something is wrong .”

 

Final message:

No one who has caused harm has the moral authority to tell victims how to react, feel, or heal.”

Mwanakwetu, are you there? Remember:

“The one who caused harm has no right to dictate how victims should grieve.”

Have a good day.

makwadeladius@gmail.com

0717649257

 

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