Adeladius Makwega-MBAGALA
“Honestly, brother, women are very dangerous. I built my five houses and decided I didn’t want to be bothered with phone calls about school fees for children or other issues. I decided my wife should collect the rent: visit all the houses, take the names of all tenants, and collect the rent. This has worked well; now my wife collects the rent and that money is also used for other family expenses here at home.”
Two men are walking along the road on foot after work, talking about family life and its challenges. The man leading the conversation said:
“This guy with the five houses—one day he completely ran out of money. He had nothing. He called his wife and said, ‘My wife, today I have no money and I haven’t eaten since morning. I’m back home now; please send me one hundred thousand shillings, I’ll pay it back.’”
The woman agreed. But unknown to him, the phone was on loudspeaker, and their youngest son, about 12 years old, said:
“Mom, that money of yours—Dad will never return it.”
The father couldn’t hear his son clearly, but the mother heard him. She mentioned the child’s name and then told her husband,
“Do you hear what your son is saying here? He says, ‘Mom, that money of yours will not come back.’”
The father laughed inwardly and kept quiet, thinking to himself: So by allowing this woman to collect the rent, my own child now sees me as a fool?
Remember, these two men are still on their way home from work, discussing marital challenges. The second man said, That one is minor—let me tell you another story.
“I have a friend who installs internet for institutions; he has his own company. He got a good job, completed it, and was left with sixteen million shillings. He took the money and told his wife, ‘Please keep this money in your business for now, but when I need it, give it back to me. I’m going to continue working.’
He left the bundle of sixteen million shillings with her and went on with his work. After about six months, the job was completed, and others liked their work, so he got another contract similar to the first. He was told to start work first and submit his claims later. He took his team, inspected the site, and planned to start the next day.
That evening he told his wife, ‘My wife, please give me that money so I can buy equipment; I’ve got another job.’
Shockingly! The woman said she didn’t have even a single shilling. The man was stunned. Right there, he decided his wife should close the shop and return to her parents’ home immediately.”
Indeed, the woman closed the shop and left for her parents’ home. The man went to borrow equipment from an Indian trader and continued with the job. Unknown to him, when the wife left, she was pregnant.
While doing the second internet installation job, the man met the narrator of this story and explained his wife’s behavior. The narrator said:
“If you love your wife and the pregnancy is yours, bring her back and live with her. But when it comes to business and money, do not involve her at all, to avoid conflicts.”
And that’s exactly what the man did.
Remember, dear reader, these two men are walking home in the evening after work, exchanging stories.
The first man then told another story:
“I have a son I’m educating. I managed to get school fees and paid them well, then I said I would look for money for transport and school expenses. The situation became tough, and when school opening time came, I had no money. Every time I told the boy’s mother to give him transport and pocket money, she said she had no money. I told my son, ‘My child, stay home until I get money.’
When the mother was told this, she became confused and asked how that could be. I said, ‘For now I have nothing, but in one week I’ll give my son the money and he’ll go to school.’ The mother agreed, and the child agreed too.
One day later, the student sent his father a message saying, ‘Dad, you know my phone is faulty. When you get that money, don’t send it to my phone—send it to Mom.’ The father replied, ‘Okay.’
Truly, two or three days later, before the week ended, doors opened for the father and he got money. He sent it to the mother. He then asked when the child would be leaving. The mother said, ‘He’s leaving tomorrow evening.’
The father said, ‘Before he leaves for school, please tell my son I want to talk to him, because I’ve been calling his phone and he’s unavailable.’
The mother replied, ‘He’s around; I just sent him on a small errand. When he returns, he’ll talk to you.’
When the day came, the mother didn’t answer her phone, and the child’s phone was also unreachable. The father investigated and discovered that the child had already reported to school and that the mother had given him the money that very same day.
The father kept asking himself, ‘Why didn’t they tell me the truth earlier so that, as a parent, I would know and not be lied to like this? If the boy had an accident on the way, what would they say?’”
Remember, this story is still being told as the two men walk home.
The other man then said:
“As men, we must educate our children well and provide them with all necessary services. But a wise father should not put it in his mind that one day those children or their mother will come to help him.
If you have your own resources, make sure you maintain them so they generate income for you. If those children, by God’s grace, later have the heart to help you, that’s fine. But if they don’t, don’t stress yourself—just thank God. You, as a father, will have fulfilled your duty.”
Remember, these two men eventually reached their homes, each entering his own area, and they said goodbye, agreeing to meet again at work the next day.
Mwanakwetu, are you there? Remember:
“Take care of your children, but do not expect help from them.”
I wish you a good day.
makwadeladius@gmail.com
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